Statistics

I remember taking a class in college about stats, it was horrible really horrible. I am not sure how I passed but I did. I really remember trying to figure out what was a good stat: a really small number or a really big one. In the end it depends on what the stat is, for instance if the odds of winning the drawing for a new TV are 1:5000 you really want to be the 1 not the 5000. However, if the odds of getting cancer are 1:5000 you do not want to be the 1.

When I went to the doctor to get the results of my first biopsy (in Dallas, there were several in StL) my doc busted out a chart to show me what the results mean. We start with the easy to treat types, about 20% of this type if left alone will turn to cancer over time. As we move down the chart the percentage of the cases that result in cancer start going up and up until we get to the last box... there are no statistics. I look at her and she says, 100% of these cases result in cancer over time.... uhhh I am in that box?!?!?

To be honest this was the first time that I realized that I was the 1 in the ratio. I am becoming one out four people that cancer will touch... crap. How did this happen, as I have wrestled with this for several weeks even months I have realized that God has a plan I have no idea what his plan is I only know that I am going to trust this plan.

I have found myself learning to trust that there is a plan for this adventure for me and that in this plan there will be a reward for trusting with my whole heart.

Tomorrow I will tell you about my journey with the early stages of cervical cancer. After that biopsy I was at the last stage before cervical cancer, so technically still precancerous but by the thinnest of margins. Stay tuned for this story.

Duvet cover

I want to replace a lot of my bedding and bedroom decorations when I move into the new apartment. This is going to be some what difficult because of several reasons: I have no idea what I want nor do I know what I need. But I have been spending several different shopping trips making sure to take time to check out their different duvet covers. In all of the stores I have been attracted to covers with similar themes. The ones that I love have a white background.

As I held the ones that I really wanted from the simply shabby chic line at target that if my dog slept on these for a few nights it would be ruined most likely... We all know that it is unlikely that she doesn't sleep on the bed so I should get something cheaper or get something that will hold up better. I eventually went with this blue and white pattered duvet cover, I snagged this little gem at Marshalls for $30 so I won't be too ticked if my little monster leaves dog hair all over the bed. I am pretty excited about putting this up in the new place!

The new duvet cover, hope Lily likes it

Fall Days

There are a few things that I miss about St. Louis and I think that the fall is going to be the biggest thing that I miss. However, I got pretty excited over the weekend since the temps got colder that I had expected. I really love crisp mornings and getting out there with the smell of people burning wood in their fireplaces. But I don't have a fireplace so I make do with other things that can make me feel fallish. One of the keys to enjoying fall here in the south is that you make the most of it when it comes because it could get back up to 100 before you know it. 100 might be an exaggeration but it can get warm again.

When I went to Target for our weekly meeting... me shopping them taking my money. Since it was cool I stopped by the Starbucks and grabbed a hot chocolate. I enjoyed sipping on my hot chocolate while I was looking for things for my new apartment, I didn't make any purchases I just looked around for things that I want.

Hot chocolate to warm me up

Once I got home I realized that what sounded amazing to me was some chili so I quickly convinced my grandfather to let me whip up a pot of chili (recipe to follow at a later date). As a bonus I decided to whip up a little batch of my personal apple pie pickets (again, recipe to follow). It was really an amazing dinner, I really enjoyed the chili and the apple pies where the perfect ending to the meal. I always love being able to cook for other people it really brings lots of joy to my life.

My mom's recipe for homemade chili, to which my grandfather said was almost as good a Wolf Chili... 

Apple pie pockets

I love the start of fall it is the kickoff to the holiday season, I love the holidays. I just love being able to give to friends and family. Also fall means football season, gotta cherish this while the games are on. Well I am going to get back to work and look forward to the next fall day.

Getting close to moving day

As you know I am going to move into my apartment in a few weeks about 16 days!! I have a million and ten things that I need to do before that day comes but sometimes after work I am just so stinking tired that all I want to do it lay on the couch. This would be fine if my weekends weren't booked with football games. There is only aggie football a few weekends out of the year and I am going to miss some of them.

I will confess that I am a little apprehensive about moving into the apartment. Some of that stems from knowing that I am going to be buying my furniture and I want to like it for several years. It is so hard to know what is right but I guess you just make a choice and see what happens.

I am going to spend most of y Saturday furniture shopping and looking for a washer and dryer. I feel like I have suddenly joined adulthood and I do not love it. It is somewhat overwhelming to make all kinds of decisions but as my mom said she didn't know what she was doing in the beginning and there will be buyers remorse but you move on. My mom is so wise and I am very lucky to have her.

Wish me luck on my shopping adventures and I will let you know what I find and buy.

The red button reality

I don't know about you but when someone tells me not to do something it suddenly becomes the only thing that I can think about. If someone says don't push the button, now you want to push the button. I know that if I had said don't touch me, my brothers would hold a finger just above the skin so they are not technically touching you but they kinda are. We all do this, if you ask me to stop the urge becomes uncontrollable. Sometimes the consequences are not that bad: like when the recipe says cool before eating and you eat it right out of the oven. Oh second thought burning the roof of your mouth on dinner suddenly makes it not as good.

After my surgery they told me I could not submerge in water, I could stand but not sit. I am not typically much of a bath person but as soon as the nurse said no sitting in the tub all I have been able to think about it how amazing a glass of wine and a bubble bath would be. I mean I don't remember the last time I took a bath, it was in St. Louis but I haven't really wanted to in a while but suddenly I am just dying to sit in one. I am not sure what it is about someone saying I can't do XXX but that is all I want to do.

I am sharing this with you because for a few minutes tonight I really considered getting in the bath tub and I wondered what is the worst that could happen? Since I am a scientist the worst that could happen is pretty bad, this is why I am writing you not luxuriating in bubble bath. I am looking forward to taking a bath in the garden tub at my new apartment.

I am not sure why we all want to push the big red button that says do not push, but I do. I know that I shouldn't do it but the more I think about not being able to do it I just really really want to do it. Oh well, it happens at least this time I am being an adult about the bath for the time being. 3 more weeks until I can be submerged in water... only 3 weeks!

A&M v SMU: Halftime

If you are an aggie fan I know that you have been waiting for this post all week. Sorry it was a long one, see the previous post for details. 

Now forming at the east end of Ford Stadium... the Fightin' Texas Aggie Band!!!!!

I have a video that I am going to try and edit and then upload at some point, it is just not working today I am also not totally sure that I want you to hear me sing the fight song. Oh well at least there are some OK photos of the band. I love the aggie band, if you have never seen them you should watch them on YouTube. They make me happy all football season. Gig'em Aggies.

Enjoy the pics, I think they truly speak for themselves.

I wish you could see this, this is the famous block formation

The crossing V, I have no idea but it is cool.

Better view of the block formation

The Block T!!!

I thought since it would only be fair I would include a few pics of the SMU band... they have a few less people but there was a baton twirler and that was fun to watch

The Diamond M

I am looking forward to seeing the band again soon! Let's have a great season boys so that I can see you in a bowl game! Good job boys.

I could use a nap

If you read this frequently... yes all ten of you, you have realized that I haven't posted much this week. Hopefully next week will be so much better but I have been a little out of sorts this week. I only went to work on Monday and Tuesday and then Wednesday morning I had surgery at 7AM. So let's be real with one another and so that we know the truth I had high hopes of having extra posts in my back pocket so that I could post daily and you would never know about this little adventure. But I was unable to get it together prior to surgery so this is a note to let you know that I am not dead but I am a little out of it these days but I do promise to get things back in order... soon.

I will eventually share with you about the surgery but I think I owe you a few other things first... yikes there is so much to share.

Looking forward to feeling better soon.

xoxo
H