Why I will never bring watermelon to a party again...

So for my families father's day get together I was tasked with bringing a watermelon for both a side and as something to munch on out by the pool. I was pretty excited because I wanted to see if the cool way they show to cut it up on pinterest works and this would be an easy task.

So while I am at Target on Saturday I look through their melons and find the best one they have. It is very heavy and has a pretty good creamy spot on the bottom. It doesn't thump just right but you know maybe I am out of practice, who knows. I snap this bad boy up and head for the house. Once I get to the house I decide to go ahead and chop this up so that I don't have to do it later.

This looks strange

Imagine my surprise when I slice it open and it is yellow inside... I panic just a bit and text my Aunt Judy since she will know what to do. Since I am not sure what to do and google says that the yellow melon is the sweetest of the melons I go ahead and chop it up. I also eat a bit of it to see if it was good, it wasn't terrible but it tasted like a watermelon.

Looking for help

As my stomach becomes very angry I realize that this melon is bad. I put everything in the trash and just move on with my life. I don't really have tome to grab another melon on Saturday and I decide to run to Kroger and get one after church.

I get to Kroger and don't see any melons so I kindly ask one of the floor guys who tells me they just got off the truck so he grabs one for me. Since that was all I needed I don't have a buggy so I just carry it out like a boss. Once I get to the house I open the door and say hello to Lily and then turn around to lock the door.

As I turn back into the living room I don't see the jug of water sitting on the floor that I chose not to put away yesterday since I didn't know where to put it and I promptly trip over the water with the melon still in my arms. In what seems like a million seconds I go from standing upright to laying on the floor sobbing because my knees are killing me. Yes, you did read that right, I took a facer in my apartment while carrying a watermelon. After several moments, maybe a whole minute, of crying in self pity trying to determine if I have to call someone to take me to a hospital I realize that there is a second terrible thing that could have happened... the watermelon could be broken in a million parts on my carpet?!?! Luckily for my it managed to stay intact so that was good.

I eventually get off the floor and realize that I am not dying and I don't think I have irreparably damaged my legs so I must continue on my tasks. I will admit that I was a little slower than before but not totally broken.

Look at that melon... so good

Once in the kitchen I cut open the melon and realize it is red!! WooHoo I have a good one, it was so sweet. I followed the method here to cut up half of the melon. Well, this didn't really work well for me. I would guess that part of that is that my melon was cracked in the center (perhaps from the fall or it was just that ripe). So I found that the peeling and then dicing the melon was a great idea but I don't know that I saved anytime over a different method. But I do think I might try it again should I get a seedless melon since they are smaller and might be a little easier to use this method on.

As I am sitting here with ice on my knees I realized a few different things:
-Most likely I won't be bring watermelon anywhere ever again.
-Target probably isn't the best place to buy produce.
-Falling while you live alone is pretty terrifying for the first few seconds.
-Don't eat unripened fruit.

I still cannot believe that this happened in many ways this is a great story however I am a little anxious about how I am going to feel tomorrow.