I am still alive

I am sure that you have been anxiously checking to see if I have posted anything new last week. I will admit that I found that I had nothing to say, it was just one of those weeks. I found myself wondering why am I posting all of this, I am not funny or witty or really anything, so I spent several days not pouting but pouting.

So I realized a few things in my pout: 1- I like to post random things and if you want to read this great if not that is OK too since this is just for me. 2- I am going to try and post 4 times a week and not get stressed out if they are all at once or spread out. 3- This is going to be a year of adjustment... so bear with me as I figure it out.

One of the blogs that I read wrote a post about how this is Britain and we live here, I am going to adopt this for my life. My life at the moment is falling into two main categories and I am going to just put stuff into and realize that it is OK to be unsatisfied with what I have got going on and to move on. So here are the two main categories

This is singleness and I live here:
I have been single for years and sometimes it is OK and sometimes it is worse than blisters from your new shoes. I think some of this right now has to do with valentines day... really like I didn't just spend my entire christmas break being single and alone now I get to do it again for V-day. I have long loathed this day but as I am single I don't have to participate. I think this bothers me because I want to have a man to do all this cute crap for, however he is lost at the moment so I will let it go. Also there are a lot of times in the new city where it would be fun to go and do something but I am always wondering will people stare since I am alone... probably no so I am trying to go.

This is Dallas and I live here:
Most of the time I love Dallas, recently I have had a few moments where I wonder what am I doing here? Then I remember that I am following his plan and that I should enjoy this. Here are a few things that I am struggling with: shoes... I always feel inadequate about my footwear, I do know this is dumb but hey it bothers me, finding female friends- I had no idea this would be so hard but I am trying things and just plugging away, and finding things to do that I like- this is kinda like the activities fair in college so many choices but I don't know what to choose so I just stand there like a dummy.

I think that I am just in a rough patch with life here in Dallas, I had some great ideas about how this was going to go and so far not a single one has happened. I keep waiting for that great moment where I am going to realize this is why I am here... yeah I still don't know but I have realized that sitting at home alone not trying anything is not going to cut it so I am giving everything a try once. Hopefully when the spring gets here it will get better, I am over this winter (yes I know it isn't really winter but this low lying fog sucks).

Don't fret things are going to get better soon and I am sure I will have so many better things to show you soon. Sometimes you have to go through the dark to get to the light...